4 January 2018 · posted in thoughts
The first week
Starting after the Christmas dinner parties, there is this glorious week of nothing. A week of winding down, relaxing, snuggling under the blanket in the sofa, drinking tea, eating cookies, wearing pyjama bottoms all day and forgetting which day of the week it is. The winter break is in full swing and the day of going back to work is nowhere in sight. It is obligatory to be lazy, spend entire days either in bed or in the sofa, read books, watch TV, play boardgames, enjoy the Christmas decorations and light as many candles as you can find in the house. Right then, life is amazing. You've earned your break, you're enjoying doing nothing at all and that's that. Life is simple during the holidays. Some last minute emergency ironing to be presentable at NYE and off you go.
Day after day comes and goes and before you know it, it's a few days into the new year, you're still snuggling under the blanket in the sofa, drinking tea, eating cookies, wearing pyjama bottoms and suddenly you realize it's Wednesday afternoon and two weeks of holidays vanished jut like that. Only two more days of holidays left. Two more days of weekend after that and then you need to go back to work. But for me, being a teacher, work doesn't start on Monday morning. So suddenly the pressure's on. You feel as though you've wasted away your entire holiday doing nothing were as you could have done so much.
Could have, should have
You could have (re)organized the house, could have done all the laundry and ironing, could have gone shopping, could have seen more friends, could have done more DIY projects, could have prewritten more blogspots, could have done more preparations for school, could have, could have, should have, should have. Guilt pushing away all the happiness and relaxation you stocked up on during the last weeks. In one minute, gone is the holiday peace of mind while you're in the sofa with a massive headache and no idea where to start. At this point usually panic sets in, you pressure yourself into doing way more than you can handle the next few days and on Monday morning, you go back to work... stressed.
No more guilt
Every single holiday, it's the same story. No matter how short or how long the holiday, when the end is near, suddenly the realization hits that after the holiday real life start again. So again these last few days, I felt the pressure bubble up. The imaginary deadlines of all the things I should have done during this Christmas break creeping closer and closer. But this time, I refuse to feel guilty. Doing absolutely nothing these past few weeks, it was glorious. Spending time just enjoying the company of my other half without the pressure of getting things done in the house, it was glorious. Not thinking about or doing any preparations for my kiddos at school, no matter how much I love them, guess what? It. Was. Glorious. I really needed that break.
So looking back on this Christmas holiday, indeed I could have done many things, but I chose not to and I don't regret a single day. Starting tomorrow I will slowly ease back into adult life, do the things that really need to be done before Monday, one by one. No panic. No stress. For today, I'm just happy and grateful that I still get to have a few weeks of no responsibilities at twenty seven. So instead of thinking about all the things I could have done, I will be thinking about all the things I did do and enjoyed very much, no matter how small. You don't have to conquer the world to enjoy life. I hope you too had a wonderfully lazy Christmas break.